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Women's Sexuality > Sex - The First Time

Apprehension, anticipation, fear, excitement, wanting, desire, delight, vivid, imagination, fascination, or realization the next morning.

The move to adulthood, love and sex is a natural progression in life and requires both awareness and consciousness.  The human desire to mate and reproduce is a powerful force which bubbles from a limitless well driving the need to give and receive both love and affection amid the complexity of life

Ideally we learn to balance our lives and gain a sense of self appreciation and harmonious place in our community, amid the problems created by parental and societal controls which goes to make it all the more interesting.

Excess repression, manipulation and control of sex and other desires can lead to various forms of insanity and is believed to cause much of the social disorder and violence we currently experience in this world. 

In this time when so many viruses are about, condoms or similarly effective protection are essential. If you think you may have sex sometime soon, carry a condom, and remember condoms expire by a certain date.

There is no one formula for good sex, however
Good sex can help intimacy
Good sex can be intimate
Good sex does not always require intimacy
Sex 2 - 4 times a week is considered healthy by many people including the medical establishment.
There is no upper limit if you are really happy.
Sex can help to release stress


Most often as you begin to feel the hormonal changes in your body, and boys start to look attractive, and you feel that impulse to be with some of them which at first may be a bit ikky,  you are becoming a woman.

The transition from childhood to sexual confidence involves flirting, more tactile play and petting, exploring each others bodies and learning how to touch each other, to give and receive a variety of physical, mental and emotional pleasures while remaining honest.

The first time experience is different for everyone and there is no right way. It can be bliss or it may hurt a bit, for some it can lead to bloody pain or embarrassment as a result of where they are at with it. A good reason to manage your rush.

When confidence in kissing and touching has been achieved, when you are both comfortable naked and enjoy each others company, you are then ready to consider intercourse with all the consequences from pregnancy to disease.

The first time can be a romantic occasion, or an impulsive where-ever as the desire takes you if you are prepared. As for how you have sex or make love, seek to acquire the art of both giving and receiving pleasure of each other,  take time to learn,  manage the angle of entry, penis size, or lack of, getting condoms on, him going soft, or you being to dry, or suddenly helping mom in the kitchen may seem appealing.

Once you get the basics, you can then then explore your limits of pleasure, and though sex is different for everyone, the main opinion is that it gives great pleasure.

The first time sexual experience can be great, or tragic depending on the circumstances, as such, it is a reasonable idea to find an experienced man to initiate you to intercourse. A man who is kind and caring, who knows what women like and who will treat you well.  Ideally we would like to see the mother and family of the daughter arrange such an event for the daughters.  In this way there is support at every level.

----

Do you want to have sex?

Q. Well this is how it goes ive been in situations where a boy or man what ever was about to have sex with me i was so close it not even funny he put it in and there was nothing but less then 2 inches lef to go but i never went that far that happened twice then i met a boy who i really loved i was 13 at the time and he was 17 so i said ok to having sex but i did the same thing but this time it didnt hurt as much just a lil am i still a virgin?
A. Technically no - you are having a sexual experience even though full penetration and orgasm may not have been achieved.  Perhaps the loss of virginity could be re-defined as the first experience of orgasm, but then many women would never loose virginity even after giving birth.

Q. I'm only 13, and so I haven't had sex yet. But most of my friends have. A bunch of the boys like me and want to do stuff with me, but I don't think I'm ready. They prolly think I'm too scared, which I am. I don't want to lose my virginity yet, what should I say to them??
A. Say no.  Boys will often say anything just to do it to you and impress their mates.  Wait till you feel you really want to.

Q. How can i tell my man that i would like him to get me started by touching me kissing me you know, instead of just getting right to it? what can i do to do the same to him? I feel real shy to touch him. its so hard to be serious.
A. It can help to flirt with him to find out how interested he is, if to strong, you may have to hold him back . Basically let him know you want to, be intimate in your attitude and perhaps it will flow. You have to relax and let go while trusting in yourself to stay awake and be aware that you are both safe and loved unless you just want to be fucked which can be great, but not for your first time. Remember to that he may be as nervous about it as you.

Tip:
It can take time for the vagina to get accustomed to a penis.
To more enjoy the sexual act, you have to want to do it and to have agreement with your partner. For more comfort use plenty of lube if you are not very wet, and make yourselves comfortable, sit or lay fairly still together with the penis inside, practice squeezing your vaginal muscles, and both of you do some soft deep breathing, looking into each others eyes - practice movements when ready, like a yoga for sex**. Then (especially If his penis is very large), take charge and see what it can do, discover your limits of movement and how much pleasure you feel, then you can help him to get the spot without him hurting you.

Q. me and my boyfriend have been dating for 1 month and 4 days and we have been talking about having sex we both love each other very much but i am terrified of the pain i will feel after intercorse he says he will do it slow but even after i am being fingered it hurts like hell so i know that his penis will tear me up i just dont want to try it and tell him to stop and im still horny and he still has a hard on he says he will eat me out but i want to really orgasm i want to cum and make him cum please tell me what i need to do to prepare myself for intercorse! thank you :)

A. There are many books on how to do it right and overcome fears, but no one agrees and what worked for me will not work for you, we all have to work it out for ourselves.

Before you get into each others pants, play with yourself and find out what feels nice cause the chances are you will have to teach him how to touch, boys often don't know till after a dozen relationships. when you get down to it, make sure you have lube and condoms, make it fun with space to stop if it hurts to much, but usually once a cock is in it starts to feel very nice.

I like to bath or shower and have my room nice with incense and candles, but boys are not always into that..

Q. when u have sex for the first time do u bleed during or after ??
A. can be either or not at all

Shared First Time Experiences
My first time was very painful. I was 18. I did it in a car with a guy I really cared for he was 26. He was also very well endowed. He knew what he was doing, but he felt that the harder he pushed the first time the faster the painful part would be over. Of course I don't think his theory was correct, I hurt for days after that and bled for about a week. I felt like he really cared for me because he would ask if I was ok and if I wanted him to stop. I wouldn't call my experience intimate, it was touching but a little rough. I thought that I was going to have the cowboy walk forever!

We would love to read your 1st time - share - readers experiences continue.

** Yoga for sex - simply being fully conscious or aware of your activity, making the effort to support and deepen the experience.

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